I thought I’d provide what I deemed to be an ironic follow-up to yesterday’s post regarding the aesthetic. Here are my stats for the most popular search strings for finding my blog:
| Top 20 of 38 Total Search Strings |
|||
|---|---|---|---|
| # | Hits | Search String |
|
| 1 | 36 | 34.95% | venom cock |
| 2 | 10 | 9.71% | trent hergenrader |
| 3 | 4 | 3.88% | 6-9k diet |
| 4 | 4 | 3.88% | klinsmann spurs |
| 5 | 3 | 2.91% | boris layupan author |
| 6 | 3 | 2.91% | touched by venom |
| 7 | 2 | 1.94% | dan brillman and newsweek |
| 8 | 2 | 1.94% | deflowered by cock |
| 9 | 2 | 1.94% | five cigars of abu ali |
| 10 | 2 | 1.94% | hergenrader |
| 11 | 2 | 1.94% | janine cross excerpt from touched by venom |
| 12 | 2 | 1.94% | jeff vandermeer |
| 13 | 2 | 1.94% | john henry folktale |
| 14 | 2 | 1.94% | persistence of time fiction |
| 15 | 2 | 1.94% | priapism |
| 16 | 2 | 1.94% | priapism pictures |
| 17 | 2 | 1.94% | rebecca rowe science fiction fantasy |
| 18 | 1 | 0.97% | a clean escape short story john kessel |
| 19 | 1 | 0.97% | boris layupan |
| 20 | 1 | 0.97% | brandon sanderson |
| 21 | 1 | 0.97% | cheryl morgan janine cross |
| 22 | 1 | 0.97% | dan brillman |
| 23 | 1 | 0.97% | edgar davids and migraine |
| 24 | 1 | 0.97% | english premier league east lansing michigan |
| 25 | 1 | 0.97% | five cigars of abu ali schaller |
| 26 | 1 | 0.97% | greg van eekhout |
| 27 | 1 | 0.97% | hejduk sucks |
| 28 | 1 | 0.97% | janine cross touched by venom |
| 29 | 1 | 0.97% | laxdaela movie characters |
| 30 | 1 | 0.97% | micki mcgee |
| 31 | 1 | 0.97% | most hated maradona tyson |
| 32 | 1 | 0.97% | njihia mbitiru |
| 33 | 1 | 0.97% | submission * response time stories |
| 34 | 1 | 0.97% | time sink game company pictures schoffstall |
| 35 | 1 | 0.97% | touched by venom blog |
| 36 | 1 | 0.97% | trenthergenrader |
| 37 | 1 | 0.97% | troder faith |
| 38 | 1 | 0.97% | venom cock excerpt |
Note that “ineloquent rambling musings on aesthetic” doesn’t appear on this list. However, “Venom cock” accounts for a full third and there are 15 other hits based on the conversation (I’m counting the 2 hits for “deflowered by cock,” “priapism” and “priapism pictures” but I’m not sure they’re all about the same conversation. Just what my mother always wanted, her son’s blog to come up as a result for the search string “deflowered by cock.”)
My favorite search string results are “hejduk sucks” (my least favorite player on the US National Team) and “most hated maradona tyson.” I’d like to meet these people and ask them if they found what they were looking for.
I also note that blatant name-dropping doesn’t hurt either, nor does being linked to from the wildly more popular blogs by JJA and Greg van Eekhout. The royalty checks will be cut before the end of the year guys, I promise.
So, for the future of my blog: fewer inarticulate musings, more links to more popular blogs, more blatant name- dropping, and more references to male genitalia, venom-laden or otherwise. Also, if there are any “hot insider topics” (I missed the boat on the whole Infernokrusher thing but was positioned well for the venom cock, so to speak) let me know so I can mention that, too.
I plan to include these tables and stats as part of my cover letter for future story submissions.
Current Mood – Can’t Complain | 
Currently Listening To – The White Stripes – “White Blood Cells”
One Comment
You know what’s funny? I googled “Kirkus” the other day, because I was headed to the Kirkus website, and the review of “Touched by Venom” was like the third or fourth thing that came up in the search. I assume that’s because of all the blog linking on the subject.
But hey, how do you find those stats? I’m curious to see what my results would be.
(BTW, feel free to email me a response — I don’t believe I have your email.)
One Trackback
[...] This is probably a really weak topic for those bloggers among us, but I thought it needed to be said. I know people find me (and all of us for that matter) by typing some really odd search phrases, detailed wonderfully by Trent Hergenrader. [...]