Six of eight teams decided for the semifinals. Comments on today’s games hidden for those of you who don’t wish to blunder upon the results, having DVR’d the games.
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For people who have only warmed to footie in the last few years it’s hard to explain how much has changed in 16 years. In 1990 the World Cup was hardly on the radar. In 1994, despite hosting the tournament, the majority of the media coverage was negative along the lines of the still-prevalent and still-tiresome “Why Americans Will Never Love Soccer” rant, and 1998 was only marginally better. The US’ failure at that tournament seemed to underline the critics’ statements that we, as a nation, just don’t get it.

The US’ success in 2002 did wonders for soccer’s profile in this country and as time has passed, more writers and editors who grew up playing the game now have some say in how the sport is covered in the American media. Thank God.

It’s an absolute pleasure to live in a time where the US media runs intelligent essays regarding the beautiful game. I’ve read several of the below Slate authors’ stories linked below and, while I don’t always agree with the content, it’s a breath of fresh air to read anything that doesn’t try to explain the rules, share the tidbit that it’s called “football” everyone else on the globe, or belabor the point that fans all over the world really, truly love the game.

• Luke O’Brien, Tommy Craggs, Charles Duhigg, and William Saletan have filed Dispatches From the World Cup.
• Dave Eggers told the true story of American soccer
• Bryan Curtis revealed why intellectuals love the game
• Nick Schulz discovered why Brazilian soccer players have names like Ronaldinho, Cafu, and Fred
• Daniel Engber found out what’s in that magical World Cup spray and asked whether the World Cup has a lingua franca
• Robert Weintraub blamed U.S. Soccer and Nike for the Americans’ early departure from the tournament.
• Austin Kelley defends divers and has a World Cup blog here.

Oh, did you know it’s 30 minutes to Germany vs. Argentina at the time of writing? Just thought I’d mention it…

Current Mood: Good |
Currently Listening To - Leadbelly - “The Titanic”

Joss Whedon talks about equality and writing strong female characters.

To answer my own rhetorical question in the title, I think it’s about a month old. Strange I haven’t seen it making the rounds yet. Watch it. ‘Tis good.

You should have bought stock in this blog last July.

Through the roof! And what’s more, about half of the hits are direct requests instead of odd-ball searches. I’ve also received a whopping 631 referrals from http://snurri.livejournal.com/friends—do I have to pay a commission? If so, I would be quick to point out to Dave that this only accounts for 1% of all requests…

Unfortunately there’s been a sharp decrease in amusing search strings used to find the site. I find it amazing that the one-word search of “writing” is the number one string to find this site with 52 hits (why this site?) and the next most popular is my name at half that number. Queer.

A lot of searches are in relation to this topic that will not die and an alarming number of strings having to do with female body parts and their various attributes thanks to the ill-advised posting of these quiz results. The word “somnophilia” always generates a few inquiries as well.

Don’t get me wrong, I still get some amusing strings. “Schoffstall dies sunday,” “the world ends when you’re dead. until then you got more fuckin,” and and the duo of “blog jeff ford republican” and “gangs jeff ford” have been some recent ones that made me smile. There are also a smattering of searches that are on soccer (”donovan arena disgusting reyna”) and on stuff I’ve read (”grendel cage beowulf”) and places I’ve been (”death valley marble canyon”) but those searches might actually turn up something relevant, and what’s the fun in that?

The only downside to all the heady success of this website is that it’s unsustainable, just like the real estate bubble and dot com boom. I suppose I could follow the lead of corporate America and cook the books by embedding deliberately misleading phrases into this blog, like typing “Jenna Jameson lesbian” or “Jessica Alba nude photos” but that just wouldn’t be right. My public deserves better.

Current Mood: Ironic |
Currently Listening To - Various Artists - “Anthology of American Folk Music (Disc 1-A)”

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I have to say that a lot of my emotion drained out of this World Cup once Spain capitulated against France. It’s not that I don’t care—you should know better than that—but rather that I’m just ambivalent about the teams that remain.

I guess I’m still pulling for Germany to win it—I am Hergenrader after all—and I wouldn’t be displeased to see England, Portugal or Argentina lift the trophy either as long as they continue to play a game that’s easy on the eyes. England needs to improve in order for me to like them.

On the other side of the bracket I could really care less. Can Italy, Ukraine, or France even make a game of it against Brazil? Doubtful, but I’ll be rooting against Italy and France just because I don’t like the way they’ve played. The Italians are the new Argentina—diving, whining, and playing defensively before winning in the 90th minute on a dodgy penalty—and this Argentina is the new Brazil—flashy, daring, and attacking with almost zero play-acting. Me, rooting for Argentina? Never thought I’d see the day.

I played pickup soccer for the second time this summer and saw a drastic improvement over my debut. This largely has to do with the fact that the players were not nearly as good and the field was much smoother and smaller, but there was much shaking and baking going on and more than a few pinpoint passes zipped at 100 mph to the feet of unsuspecting teammates. I felt pretty good the performance, thank you very much.

I will say this: I enjoy pickup soccer more than any other physical activity. It doesn’t matter whether I’m the best or the worst on the field, I just dig playing soccer. But the one thing that gets under my skin and dampens the fun is playing with a Big Mouth, and Big Mouths are very hard to avoid.

Big Mouth is almost always American. Big Mouth takes pickup way too seriously and insists on keeping score. Big Mouth feels that he’s the field marshall and needs to provide direction and (more often) pointed criticism at his teammates. Big Mouth does things like underhits passes and then berates his teammates for not coming to the ball. Big Mouth dribbles into traffic and blames his teammates for not giving him options. Big Mouth doesn’t run onto a pass and yells at his team to stop playing long ball. In short, Big Mouth is a dick. Furthermore, Big Mouth’s talk always far exceeds his skill.

Happily, only about 10% of the pickup population are Big Mouths. Most of the guys understand that we’re out there to have some fun, get some excercise, and maybe pull off a move or two to brag about to our significant others and exaggerate on our blogs. When I play, I limit myself to two words: “nice” and “sorry.” Really, that’s all that needs to be said.

So yesterday the Big Mouth was on the other team and there was a half-Big Mouth on ours, both dispensing utter shite for advice. Not only was it obnoxious it was also wrong. But despite that I still had loads of fun. Trying to turn it into a more frequent occurance.

A sobering look at the compiled World Cup table. Unless you’re European or South American.

32 TEAMS
UEFA - Europe, 14 teams, 29-10-13, 67 GF, 43 GA, +24 GD, 6 teams still alive
CONMEBOL - South America, 4 teams, 10-1-4, 26 GF, 9 GA, +17 GD, 2 teams still alive
CAF - Africa, 5 teams, 3-3-10, 14 GF, 25 GA, -12 GD, all teams eliminated
AFC* - Asia, 5 teams, 2-5-9, 14 GF, 30 GA, -16 GD, all teams eliminated
CONCACAF - N & Central America, Caribbean, 4 teams, 1-3-9, 10 GF, 25 GA, -15 GD
* Includes Australia

My latest effort entitled “Five African Beers” was completed today at approximately 3600 words. Short, yes, and a first glance suggests it needs a lot of work but I’m going to try and get it distributed to my first readers no later than tomorrow. You’ve been forewarned.

Three World Cup limericks courtesy of Paul Thompson. I’m too edgy to write poetry at present. Someone just popped in my doorway and told me the score of the Spain vs. France game. Isn’t it polite to say, “Do you want to know the score” first?

“SPACE ODYSSEY” by Paul Thompson
Arena’s “cross my arms hope to die” frown.
Landon’s shorts wavering like a gown.
The goal’s just 8 feet tall,
Kick it under not like our football,
Hey at least Keller’s kicks come back down.

“MERCY KILLING” by Paul Thompson
No respect we could gain from Ghana,
For whom a dose of reality will dawn’ah,
In the little green gold and blue pill,
Ronaldinho and Brazil,
I’m not sad that the US is gone’uh?

“THE BACK OF THE NET” by Paul Thompson
“The Back of the Net”’s where to shoot,
“In the back of the net, what a beaut”
With O’Brien, also awful,
Such repetition’s unlawful
Marcelo Balboa is clearly better on mute.

Hands down the best article on the referee madness that’s descended on this World Cup and why all cards not equal.

A snippet:

When I went to referee school, we were told that no matter how old the game was, a booking is a booking, a red card is a red card. The offence does become more or less an offence depending on timing. Now I think if you watch Van Bommel’s tackle in isolation, you’ll see a booking. Fine so far. Now when my local FA refereeing rep is telling me what is in the rules and regulations, it’s one thing. When one of the most experienced referees in the World Cup is in charge, then it is another entirely. He surely should have the sense to judge that in this kind of arena—by that I mean a vital last-16 World Cup game—a booking after about 100 seconds will only heighten the tension.

[This also alludes why I go nuts trying to talk soccer with the casual American fan who only knows the game through the lens of their kids' youth leagues.]

It’s a relief to see a referee who can spot mistakes and intelligently explain why they happened instead of taking the side of the referee with the default “you don’t understand how hard it is being a ref” excuse. I agree refs take far too much abuse (especially at the youth levels) but that doesn’t give them license for incompentence and the self-righteous defence of wrong decisions.

The simple fact is the World Cup is the greatest show on earth and too many refs are ruining it by flashing too many cards. Let the boys play, please.

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Okay, one World Cup tidbit. I’m a little nervous about Spain vs. France this afternoon. C’mon Spain!

I have not written as much as I ought to have since returning from Portugal. My output has been, in a word, pathetic. The biggest factor is a spike in work and the rest of the time being gobbled up by the World Cup. The first I have no control over, the second I willingly submit to every four years. I guess it’s a good sign that I feel like a near failure when I haven’t finished anything new in a month. Part of the problem is a submission backlog. I had a decent writing production in the first half of the year and that’s caught up with me. I have stories at all of the Big Markets right now and I plan to rotate them once the rejections come back.

Unless of course I read them. I read one story currently out in the world and thought, “Geez, this sucks.” Which makes me think I should bail from grad school, stop writing, and hang around in casinos for a living. But I can’t handle the smoke in casinos which rules that out. Then I remember that I nearly didn’t resend the last story I thought sucked, which was the one that eventually sold to Weird Tales and decide I’m not the best judge, so I should continue writing and submitting and hoping for the best.

Tacked another 500 words on “Five African Beers.” Stories are strange. They look one way in your mind and then look completely different on paper. My immediate sense is that a lot words need to go and I’m not sure the thing works but it’s over half written now. So I should continue writing and hope for the best.

Part of the writing problem is because I’m in a reading mood. I’m listening to Quixote with Peake’s Titus Groan on deck for audio. I’m reading The Thousand and One Nights and it continues to be good (although the longer episodes aren’t as riveting) but I’ve got a million other things I want to read. Amy just finished Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar which looks great—the first three pages make me want to read the whole thing, which I probably could do in a few days.

I’ve also got a very strong interest in reading Mary Renault’s The King Must Die and The Bull from the Sea. If you’ve read either, let me know what you think. These are classified as “historical fiction” as they recount the life of Theseus but they have “fantastical” elements. Is historical fiction a more palatable term than either “fantasy” or “alternate history?”

Which brings me to school. My underwear are firmly bunched as I just want things to start already, damnit. I’ve got so many ideas bouncing around about what I want to read, independent studies to propose, mentors to find, papers to write. I know that I need to pick a “broad” field and two “minor” fields. Broad field are:
   a) 20th Century American Literature (including minority ethnic literature)
   b) 20th Century British Literature (including Neo-Colonial literature)
   c) Modern Fiction (19th and 20th Centuries)
   d) Modern Poetry (19th and 20th Centuries)
   e) History and Theory of Criticism
   f) Earlier Periods of Literature (at least two centuries)
   g) History and Theory of Drama
   h) Forms of Nonfiction Prose from the 17th Century to the Present
   i) History and Theory of Women’s Literature from the 17th Century
   j) Another student-designed approved field of similar breadth

For the minor fields, one “should be construed as an investigation of the kind of work the student will be presenting for the dissertation (for example: historical romance, lyric poetry, detective fiction, and hypertext). Also, one of the minor fields may be a more narrowly focused area of the broad field; the other minor filed should be focused inside a secondary broad field.”

My initial guess? My broad field will be Modern Fiction. If I had another life to live I’d probably focus on medieval literature but I don’t see how one can study that without learning Latin and a dozen other languages. The real problem is my interests are too friggin’ broad. I like reading stuff that grapples with the nature of reality and, perhaps ironically, the role of fantasy in historical perceptions of reality. Which all ties back to religion and religious beliefs for me. The fantasy of Grendel in Beowulf says a lot about values and perceptions of reality (including God and our place in the universe) as does Gregor Samsa’s transformation into a beetle in “The Metamorphosis.”

I also need proficiency in a foreign language. I’ve got the equivalent of two semesters or so in both German and Spanish but, for practical reasons, I’d much prefer Spanish. Again, this comes back to choosing my focus of study: Europe/medieval (German) or Americas/modern (Spanish). Brother Todd has been taking lessons from Bilingual America and it sounds like that might be the route to go for Spanish. It’s pricey at about $1800 for one year’s worth of materials and one-on-one tutoring but it will also save me from taking six semesters (read 3.5 years) worth of a language in school where I’m relatively convinced they don’t teach in the most effective and efficient manner.

See all the crap I have to think about? It’s so much easier to just blog about the World Cup…

Current Mood: Tired |
Currently Listening To - Bob Dylan - “Ten of Swords (Disc 5)”

Two qualms with this generally excellent World Cup thus far: 1) the generally low quality of officiating (a repeat of 2002) and 2) lack of upsets.

The men in the middle aren’t entirely to blame for the debacle. I have to believe a FIFA directive told them to be liberal in doling out the cards but this makes for bad soccer. The thinking, I believe, is that more cards means fewer hard tackles and will let the creative players create. This, methinks, is missing the point; neither 1998 nor 2002 were marred by career ending tackles that went unpunished. Refs should be more liberal in dishing out cards to divers and time-wasters to keep the game moving. FIFA should institute a rule that an injured player must come off the field for five minutes unless they are subbed immediately. This would cut down on the real plague of the game and not hard tackles.

The problem is that cards come out too early and too quickly. A foul that earns a card in the fortieth minute of play may not be a card in the fourth minute, unless it’s truly deserving of punishment. But tons of cards are being given for borderline fouls in the first ten minutes of play which isn’t fair to the players who have hardly warmed up and have a feel for how the ref is going to call the game, and in turn cheats the fan. Most fans want to see games start and end 11 vs. 11 unless there’s some criminal behavior deserving of expulsion. Games like the one on Sunday with 16 yellows and four ejections? C’mon, the Attica prison riots weren’t that bad.

The only other complaint I have is that there are too few upsets. Ghana? Against the odds but not a real upset there especially since the Czechs folded up shop after Jan Koller got injured. Who else? Australia? Again, not really. Neither Japan nor Croatia were all that good. Ecuador is probably my vote but again, that’s got more to do with Poland’s inadequacies. Australia over Italy would be an upset. US beating Italy would be an upset. Ivory Coast emerging from their group would have been an upset. But as it stands folks the only upsets are minor and they don’t count much if the “upset” team of the tournament (take your pick) gets eliminated in the Round of 16. Ghana is the last hope and they face Brazil tomorrow. Any chance?

Nah.