It’s been a long weekend. I think it’s natural to want to fast-forward through the grieving and just get to the consoling reflection phase already. Each day it gets a little better, but I’m often surprised by the sudden, soul-crushing waves of sadness that wash over me from time to time.
Browsing a few pet grief websites also helped. I think it’s also natural to think that you’re weird for feeling overwhelmed with sorrow because “its just a pet,” but such feelings are pretty common. With a little reflection, it’s not hard to see why. Heineken has been in my life for 12 years, and has been a daily part of it for about 8. Besides Amy, I don’t interact with anybody that much.
And we both have a strong affinity for animals. Such a deep connection might not be rational, but reason’s overrated. We care for our pets, feed them, keep them warm, protect them, and in return they share unconditional love. I think some pet owners get confused and treat their pets like humans, but that’s not right. They’re always animals, with animal instincts, animal motivations and animal feelings. But we do consider our pets with their pronounced personalities to be people— just not human people. There’s a difference there, I think.
It’s hard because everything happened so fast, and because we’re both longing for that magical, non-existent moment where everything is still okay and you know that it will be your last hug and kiss and snuggle and you make the absolute most of it. But we’re not that lucky, and the reality is that we could have given him a million kisses in the vet’s office that evening and today we’d still be wanting a million and one. Hence the sharp pangs of grief.
I’ll resume regular programming tomorrow— my usual litany of what I’m reading, what’s happening in school, footie, and other random thoughts. I just wanted to get this out of my system.
A sincere thank you to everyone who extended their condolences and kind words. We’re doing pretty well, and Athena is getting a lot of extra love and attention. We’re not sure if she’s figured it out yet but she has definitely cued in on our sorrow and has been there to lick the tears away.
Current Mood: Still Awfully Sad | 
4 Comments
I’m sorry for your loss, you’ve loved Heiniken since I’ve first met you.
Thanks Ellen. Give Dylan an extra big hug and kiss tonight. He deserves it.
I just saw your site and I wanted to offer my condolences. There is no such things as “just” a pet. Our companion animals are part of our lives and their loss is real. Grief is a way of honoring and acknowledging what they meant to us.
Thank you for your understanding Kathy. We certainly share different relationships with our pets than with other people, but that doesn’t diminish their strength or importance. Thanks again.